Nicolas Cage’s Agent

by Tao Lin

Imaginary Oklahoma is an ongoing project in which some of today’s most important and influential writers combine with artists to provide a fictional take on this place we call home. Through a wide variety of voices, styles and literary devices, these works prove that “Oklahoma” is much more than a place, it’s an idea.

“I ate perhaps 1000 calories of Fig Newmans,” said Nicolas Cage on Gmail chat to his agent who was currently in Ada, Oklahoma for her younger brother’s wedding. “And 400 calories of Tate’s cookies. In a time of severe depression.”

“I ate a least 1000 calories of fries,” said Nicolas Cage’s agent.

“As people around me smoked marijuana,” said Nicolas Cage.

“Waffle fries,” said Nicolas Cage’s agent. “

“I also ate a bar panini,” said Nicolas Cage.

“Did you smoke pot?” said Nicolas Cage’s agent.

“No,” said Nicolas Cage. “Well, sometimes.”

“Bar Panini?” said Nicolas Cage’s agent. “You mean, like a Luna Bar?”

“No,” said Nicolas Cage. “A panini that I bought in a bar. There’s a bar here … their thing is that they sell these paninis. I doubt they have paninis in Oklahoma.”

Nicolas Cage’s agent wasn’t responding.

“Are you looking up ‘panini’ right now?” said Nicolas Cage. “It’s, like, a sandwich or something. It’s Italian I think. It’s two things of flat bread with ham in between. Mine had ham, I think it’s usually ham.”

Tao Lin is the author of six books of fiction & poetry. He has a B.A. in Journalism from New York University and lives in Brooklyn, New York. His second novel, Richard Yates, was published in 2010 by Melville House.