ME HEAD: Heisenberg’s Pep Talk to the Brainerd Bears

by David Bowman


Do you want to bring shame on Brainerd?

Are you afraid to place an absolute, theoretical limit on the combined accuracy of certain pairs of simultaneous, related measurements? Boys, I know you feel uncertain… but it’s a law, dammit. You can’t know where the ball is AND how fast it’s going. But listen to this: the Pistols don’t know that the mathematical product of the combined uncertainties of simultaneous measurements of position and momentum in a given direction cannot be less than Planck’s constant h divided by 4. And you do. You do because we drilled and drilled and drilled. You are gonna sweat if I have to speak of causality in a framework described in terms of space and time! And that’s how we’re gonna fool them. Use it! Use the knowledge. You alone can prevent them from making absolute predictions about the future states of any given system, and I said any! You are not eleven boys anymore, but positively charged ions! An animal in the subatomic world! Get out and mow those sissies down! Put them to the ground! It’s a law and an order!

Me Head was a free-press zine that was launched in 2000 and distributed in Tulsa, Dallas, Austin, and Phoenix. It featured early works from several writers who have since contributed to This Land. During peak periods of its brief circulation, it boasted 300,000 online readers a month. Only three of the six issues were circulated in print. In 2013, This Land Press will publish the collected works of Me Head.