Queer as Folk

by Nick Weaver


& then gay marriage was legal in Oklahoma

& it was renamed “Oklahomo”

& cowboys went broke back

& farm girl lay with farm girl

& all the cows turned gay too so they weren’t feeling left out

& their milk was sugary post-Fruity Pebbles breakfast flavored

& wheat fields bloomed with glitter

& oil drills yielded expensive and internationally prized body creams

& pride parade gypsy caravan’d across the prairies

& pies were made with the finest organic apples found at that great farmer’s market last Sunday

& sassy hairdressers used gels and scissors as weapons of rebellion

& McMansion homes were interior designed to the brink of death

& the American flag turned painted shades of vermillion, eggshell and cerulean

& this condomed country shed its rubbery hate

& the world became faggy

& men in Africa were no longer afraid to love

& their bodies ran hot

& hands sheathed other hands in the streets

& the Nile flowed pink with froth

& straight nightclubs power-blasted songs by Erasure

& Donna Summers

& Freddie Mercury

& rich suburban housewives eloped with their Latina housekeepers

& the husbands got with the Brazilian pool boys

& wrestlers wore lipstick to accentuate their rock hard glistening pecs

& fat plumbers covered their cracks with exquisite Balenciaga gowns

& soldiers deeply frenched across battle lines

& dictators ended wars with tongues shoved down each other’s throats

& we tiptoed through the tulips, singing our gay little songs

& Earth felt awe with rainbows again

& we all skipped like fairies, dancing prancing away from yesterday

& into the great wide arms of the fabulous drag queen we call tomorrow.


& not a single person would ever go back.

Originally published in This Land, Vol. 6, Issue 3, February 1, 2015.